Monday Musings: Eve Rodsky's Book, Fair Play
"We expect women to work like they don’t have children and raise children as if they don’t work.” - Eve Rodsky
I read Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do by Eve Rodsky at the perfect time of the year. As I gear up for another school year and all the commitments that come with it, I found her work to be insightful and practical with well-researched strategies for healthy coparenting and household management.
The main audience is moms of all types -- those who work full-time or part-time outside of the home, those who are full-time caregivers and moms who fall in between these lines such as self-employed contractors, designers, etc. If you are a mom who is struggling to balance the responsibilities of raising a family, finding time for your career and marriage as well as space for yourself and your interests (Rodsky refers to this as "unicorn space"), this book is for you!
Rodsky discusses how couples can divide responsibilities to share the load of raising a family and running a household. (She has a card "game" with several key household/family management tasks you can divide with your partner.) The book and the cards are devised to balance the stress and burden of everyday life as a parent and spouse.
Throughout the book, Rodsky tackles the issues women face head on through her own research and research already published on issues such as multitasking, mental loads, relationship/marriage health, etc. She offers tools with her readers, such as establishing a "minimum standard of care" with your partner so that you can agree on established expectations when dividing and completing tasks.
Motherhood is challenging and I'm finding that the older my children get, the more I am managing. Although my children don't require me to bathe them, dress them or make their bed any longer, they do have their own busy schedules that include evening homework, extracurricular activities, social commitments, community service projects, etc. Since my children cannot drive (yet), there are important logistics that have to be addressed and managed on a daily basis.
I highly recommend this book as it touches on relevant topics, especially having personal time for you and your partner so that you can live a life that is fulfilling. The main takeaway is that you shouldn't have to sacrifice yourself or your marriage because you're holding all the cards in the deck.
I finished the book feeling like I was presented with many perspectives on common family issues with meaningful and healthy ways to discuss my own struggles with my husband. The strategies Rodsky offers have helped me to manage our family's needs while maintaining a healthy marriage. And, I'm finding it less difficult to enjoy my "unicorn space."
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