Monday Musings: College Drop-Off

Last August, I reflected on my oldest embarking on her final year of high school. Writing the post was therapeutic and one of my favorite reflections to date. I reminisced about her first day of kindergarten and all the emotions wrapped into that one morning, which closely mirrored the start of her senior year.

Last week, the bittersweet day finally arrived when my husband and I moved her into her college dorm that's 13 hours from our home. It's wild to even type that because a year ago we had no idea where life would take her. We are so proud and excited for her, but simultaneously we're feeling sadness, grief and anxiety. We are especially aware of the effects her absence have on her younger siblings. My husband and I are both the oldest children in our families, so seeing this side of the transition has been eye-opening and touching.

On our drive home, my husband and I were quiet most of the way, but we did share funny and heartwarming memories of her, which brought on bouts of tears. It's difficult to describe this to anyone who hasn't yet experienced it. It's a very long build up, with a rollercoaster of emotions from the beginning of their senior year until the dreaded good-bye on their college campus. Despite all the big feelings during this transition, we are grateful for the opportunity to guide and support our daughter, and to offer a safe place to call and a soft place to land the next four years, which will bring new peaks and valleys.

Parenthood doesn't get easier as they get older. However, I believe the Yiddish word, nachas, sums up my overall emotion at this junction. Nachas is a particular type of joy and pride that you feel from the achievements of your children or loved ones. It's rooted in the word, nachat, which means contentment or rest. Although I have experienced unpleasant feelings during this first week, I mostly find peace in knowing my daughter is exactly where she is supposed to be.

“There are two times when parenting is the most difficult. When the baby first arrives at home, and when the adult first leaves home.”

— Jennifer Quinn